Have you ever studied the movement of water up on the shore? How it ebbs and flows? First, the water rushes towards you covering every bit of wet sand beneath your feet. Then, it pulls away from you. Drawing itself back out to sea. Moving in a rhythmic motion. Occasionally it will rush in quickly, linger for a little bit before it pulls itself back out deep into the ocean. Gathering itself together before it flows right back in. For many of us this seems to be how the spirit of creativity moves within our lives.
All I ever wanted was a fairy-tale kind of love. Yes, you know what I am talking about. A love where I could feel so easily understood without having the need to explain myself. A love that just came easy, an effortless kind of love. But after quite a few relationships I am beginning to learn the truth about love. That sometimes it can be a messy, frustrating, and challenging thing. Which has got me thinking, what if love is meant to challenge you?
Well, being skeptical about Christianity doesn't necessarily mean you doubt the existence of God. Maybe you just aren't quite sold on the idea of Creationism because of the overwhelming evidence and hard science that backs evolution. Maybe you believe Jesus existed but aren't quite sure about his whole resurrection story. Or maybe you you’re not certain about the omnipotence of God.
As a young girl I was taught to revere God. To believe in God with an unwavering faith. To never question a word of the Holy Bible. To perform the necessary actions to feel the warm embrace from the divine Father. So with devotion, I studied the scripture, sang hymns and whispered daily prayers. In church my ears would soak up every utterance from the preacher’s mouth, waiting for the moment of God’s sweet presence to sweep over me.
There's something about turning 30 that makes me feel like more of a woman. I know once I turned 18 I was officially considered a woman (at least according to law), but I have always looked at 30 as the age of maturity. Now as I am turning 30 I have a newfound perspective on life that clearly wasn't there before. I can thank life for the many lessons it has taught me in my 20s for that. Entering into a new phase of life I can definitely say there are a few things I now know for sure.
What do you want to be when you grow up? How inhibiting this question is to the developing mind? As children we are asked to identify a chosen career. To figure out what we are passionate about in life and follow it wholeheartedly. That we ought to have a clear and direct path towards the pursuit of a sole career. And that this career will set the course of our entire life.
I don't know where this journey will lead me. I don't know my destination or how long the journey will be. I do know that It's okay to feel uncertain and not have all the answers. That it's okay to embrace fear. It's okay to open myself up to this journey of rediscovering God and redefining my relationship with the Creator.
At the close of every year we always come across those Facebook statuses and tweets from several folks stating, "I don't do resolutions". And I get it. Many of us feel setting resolutions are a waste of time. But it doesn't have to be. How do I know? Well, I tried it. One year I actually set a resolution and followed through on it. Of course, I was worried it wouldn't work. That I was setting another goal for myself that I would again fail at. Instead it actually changed my life.
It's as if the rivers of creativity that once flowed within me suddenly became stagnant. Dull. Lifeless. Dead. Words I would use to describe my current state of creativity. Every writer experiences writer's block right? Well how long should I wait for the ink from this pen to bleed through these pages.