There's something about turning 30 that makes me feel like more of a woman. I know once I turned 18 I was officially considered a woman (at least according to law), but I have always looked at the age of 30 as the true age of maturity. In my 20s I felt like a super mature big kid. Not that I would have considered myself immature, I was busy trying to figure out how to get this adult thing right. I mean who is ever fully prepared to enter into their 20s as an adult anyway. Now, as I am turning 30 I have a newfound perspective on life that clearly wasn't there before. I can thank life for the many lessons it has taught me in my 20s for that. Entering into a new phase of life I can definitely say there are a few things I know for sure:
What I Know For Sure
Done Is Better Than Perfect
This one took some time for me to work out. It also didn't help that I was appointed the Goody Two Shoes of my family. Growing up I always felt extra pressure to be perfect at EVERYTHING. It wasn't until later on in adulthood when I finally decided the obsession over perfection wasn't worth it. If anything it lead to unnecessary anxiety and stress which developed into serious procrastination. So, I had to learn how to simply just let perfectionism go.
Material Things Aren't Everything
As a kid I used to think being grown meant I can get whatever I want. I wanted to look dope. Fresh. Fly. I hate having to settle for the cheap clothing. That was until I got a job and realized how expensive life is. Soon I was faced with having to make life changing decisions: Do I want to be fly and broke? Or do I want to focus on building wealth? I have decided I much rather save my coins. You know what they say, "A dollar saved is a dollar earned".
Change Comes With Maturity and Growth
Did I mention that I was Ms. Goody-Two Shoes? Part of maintaining this role meant that I had to be overly concerned with what people thought about me. Because God forbid I didn't live up to others' expectations. My folks couldn't deal with the changes they saw me going through. Mostly because they were comparing teen Anekia to 20-something Anekia. Unfortunately for them this change was inevitable because I was growing and maturing. This meant I had to change. I was definitely moving away from the old Anekia, but I was heading in a positive direction. I was finding my own way and learning to figure out life on my own terms.
Marriage Doesn't Have To Be A Priority
Now, I can preach a whole sermon on this one right here. How many of us? Especially us women, knew when we were going to be married? Let me guess, it was somewhere around the age of 25? Some of you got lucky, but many of us are still waiting. Dating life can be rough, and the one thing it has taught me is not to rush love.
By my mid-20s I knew I didn't want to settle. I didn't want to find myself in a place where I'd be so desperate to be married that I would compromise the quality of the relationship. One thing I have learned is love takes time. There is no magical way or sure path to finding the one you love. And, if I never marry life will be ok. It's better than being unhappily married just to meet some ideal.
Everyone Blossoms In Their Own Timing
I hit a major quarter-life crisis in my late 20s. You know that point in your young adult life when you start to reflect on your goals. Well, I realized I was a far way off from many of them. It also didn't help that many of my peers appeared to be more successful while my life seemed to amount to nothing. I couldn't figure why I wasn't meeting my goals? Or what did I do wrong? I did everything I was supposed to: graduate college, start my career, and pursued a master's degree. It didn't make sense.
I was caught in the snare of comparison. Comparison can sometimes be a good thing, but a lot of times it can get you in trouble. The timeline for when you achieve your goals doesn't have to match anyone else's life or follow a specific ideal. The truth is everyone blossoms in their own timing.